Look at you now,
sprawled out on the floor.
Tried to reach the bathroom
only made it to the door.
When you left last night
you were looking so fine,
I would have told anybody
I’m so proud that he’s mine.
Now your tie’s around your head
and your shirt’s buttoned wrong,
and I can see from your position
that your underwear’s gone.

You were too drunk to remember,
and now you’re too cool to care,
and you’d like to ask me what you did
but baby you don’t dare.
Now, that lipstick’s such a pretty color,
but it’s not one you should wear.
You were too drunk to remember,
and now you’re too cool to care.

The cops left here
about an hour ago.
From the story they were telling me,
you put on quite a show.
I understand the bloody nose–
sounds like you saw some stars.
But where’d you get that haircut,
and where the hell’s the car?
You left home with a Rolex–
Now you’re wearing Mickey Mouse.
From the buzzing cloud above your head,
you’ll have to be deloused.

You were too drunk to remember,
and now you’re too cool to care,
and you’d like to ask me what you did
but baby you don’t dare.
My bags are packed, I’m leaving,
and I would probably tell you where,
but you were too drunk to remember,
and now you’re too cool to care.

My bags are packed, I’m leaving,
and I would probably tell you where,
but you were too drunk to remember,
and now you’re just too cool to care.